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This Week in Ridiculous Rap Lyrics: Maybach Music

» 01 June 2009 »

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Where do I start? This song has a plethora of ridiculousness starting with T-Pain’s decree of “This is the realest shit I ever wrote!” Right. This is it. Right here. About chillin’ in your Maybach. This is obviously the realest shit you’ve ever written. Perhaps you’ve never written about life or death or perhaps you’ve never written a grocery list. Yes, I’d argue that your Trader Joe’s Grocery List is realer than this bullshit. Maybe I don’t get it. Maybe I’m not from the hood and I don’t get the mentality…

Oh wait. I’m from Bed-Stuy, Brooklyn. But I’m assuming I must be from the really bougie part though.

Let’s pick the line that jumped out at me, actually making me laugh audibly.

“I was barely getting pretty women, now I’m scooping anywomen likes kitty litter.”

I have to stop and first state that I think that this is a gross understatement. I don’t think Mr. Ross was “Barely getting pretty women.” I believe he was getting all ugly women. Have we seen Rick Ross? The Ross we see now a days is the dude WITH money. Let alone poor Rick Ross who must’ve just been in a perpetual state of greasy darkness. But now, heh, NOW he’s scooping any women like kitty litter.

Do I understand the metaphor? Yes. Do I think this was the best way to express his new found effectiveness with the ladies? I think not. And while I’m speaking on Mr. Ross – Seriously? How long are you gonna ride this whole “Boss” thing? I think we get it. You’re a boss. You take planes, while drinking plain whiskey and gliding on the astral plane. Yes, I get it. You also are a fan of one word meaning many things. But dude, if I have to hear one more time about you being a boss I’m asking you to sign my time sheet.

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  • http://blackmarketindex.blogspot.com/ Black Market Index

    Rick Ross is the R. Kelly of hip-hop — I’m assuming, WITHOUT the thing for underage girls — a prolific idiot, an unwitting irony savant. A gift that keeps on giving. (I don’t think enough was said about Kell’s lyric from I WISH, “how did I become the leader of a billion men?” — a billion, really?).

    Ross is in this league. Saw this on a friend’s blog… just loved it. The Rick Ross Delusion.

    http://themessageshow.blogspot.com/2009/05/rick-ross-ongod.html

  • Long time reader, first time c

    I had to comment on this just because I need to get more stuff like this in my RSS feed. I was laughing out loud (at work I might add) when I read “Rick Ross who must’ve just been in a perpetual state of greasy darkness.” That is some of the funniest sh!t I have read about…anything! And I am with you Elon about Rick Ross, the dude needs to relax with the whole Boss thing. If he continues to say that I am gonna have to start calling in sick every time a new one of his tracks comes out. Dude is absurd.

    In all seriousness, you need to analyze rap songs like this more often because between this and the last episode of TWiB (get on that new episode already will ya!?) I have never laughed so hard at terrible lyricism.

  • http://blackmarketindex.blogspot.com Black Market Index

    Rick Ross is the R. Kelly of hip-hop — I’m assuming, WITHOUT the thing for underage girls — a prolific idiot, an unwitting irony savant. A gift that keeps on giving. (I don’t think enough was said about Kell’s lyric from I WISH, “how did I become the leader of a billion men?” — a billion, really?).

    Ross is in this league. Saw this on a friend’s blog… just loved it. The Rick Ross Delusion.

    http://themessageshow.blogspot.com/2009/05/rick-ross-ongod.html

  • Long time reader, first time commenter

    I had to comment on this just because I need to get more stuff like this in my RSS feed. I was laughing out loud (at work I might add) when I read “Rick Ross who must’ve just been in a perpetual state of greasy darkness.” That is some of the funniest sh!t I have read about…anything! And I am with you Elon about Rick Ross, the dude needs to relax with the whole Boss thing. If he continues to say that I am gonna have to start calling in sick every time a new one of his tracks comes out. Dude is absurd.

    In all seriousness, you need to analyze rap songs like this more often because between this and the last episode of TWiB (get on that new episode already will ya!?) I have never laughed so hard at terrible lyricism.